TEENS

There is a girl in my home room who is always coming to school with big bruises on her arms.  She says her dog Bruno did it.  Why would her parents keep a dog who does this to their child?

Chances are it isn't her dog doing the bruising, it is one of her parents.  You need to talk to the school counselor about this.  They are required by law to report child abuse.

I'm a 15 year old girl . . . should I shave "down there"--and please don't say "whatever you are comfortable with".  Thanks.

No.  It isn't necessary at your age, and it is very uncomfortable. You should shave the sides so you look nice in a swim suit.  If you feel you are too bushy, you could get out some scissors and trim it shorter.

 I will be a high school sophomore this fall. I talked to my counselor this summer, and found out that my orchestra class (which I have been taking for 5 yrs.) will be during my sophomore lunch! I want to be with my friends, but then again, I want to be in orchestra because I found out that we were going to New York next fall. Help!

--If you have to choose, pick Orchestra.  Then learn to be the fun friend who plans get-togethers with your other friends like movie night, pizza night, etc.  It might take more effort, but you won't lose any friends over this.

I have been hanging out with my three of my friends lately.  My mum only likes two of them (they all have been my friends forever).  Every now and then the two of them say that we all should get drunk or do drugs.   Me and my other friend strongly disagree with that.  If the two people do something bad they will not be allowed to go home and be in BIG trouble.  I was thinking that I should help them by taking them home and helping them.  Now if that is the right thing to do, then how do I get my mum to agree with me by taking any of my friends home if they're in a sticky situation?

-- Helping someone hide a problem is not helping, it is enabling.  The biggest help would be to set an example of having fun without the drugs and drinking.  Don't act like you are better than them because you are straight edge (no drugs or alcohol).  If you really think they are having a problem, here is a resource you can go to: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html 

There's a boy that I like and I really like him but my best friends came after 3 months and he just jumped from me to her.  He knows I like him, and my best friend knows I like him.  I know he likes me but he probably thinks we should just be friends.  What am I to do?  And plus me and my family are moving to another state.

-- You need to think more of yourself and set higher standards. She wasn't much of a best friend to steal your boyfriend, and why would you want to stay friends with a boy who dumped you for your best friend?  Be glad you are moving. You need to make new friends who treat you better. You deserve better.

I'm only 11 years old but I'm having feelings.  I started having these feelings when I was 9.  I keep having these feelings telling me to have sex.  But I'm not ready. But I'm ready to have a boyfriend but I can't until I'm 16. But I had some before. I'm so confused.  Please help me.

--Try having your own orgasm, then you won't need a boyfriend to do it for you.  Masturbating is completely healthy, just like eating and sleeping and exercise.  There is nothing wrong with it.

I am 15 and I have a huge crush on my neighbor.  He is 22, but I told my mom he is 18 so she will let us date.  I saw him in his car with another girl last night, but he said he was just giving her a ride home from work.  Should I believe him?

-- NO!  Any guy who will lie about his age and date a 15-year-old girl is not to be trusted.  Find a boyfriend your own age.

I am 16 and I just caught my Dad with another woman.  I stopped by the store with my brother, we recognized Dad's car, and he was kissing a friend of mine's mom.  I went right home and told my mom.  I am so disappointed in him, I can't even look him in the eye.  They have always fought, but I didn't see this coming.  I am so upset.  What do I do?

-- Just remember that you didn't do anything wrong by telling your Mom.  Your Dad is the guilty one for cheating, and don't let anyone tell you different.  Remember this feeling, and it will help you to never cheat when you get married.  It may take you a while, but try not to hate your Dad.  This is between he and your Mom.  Let them both know that you love them and let them work it out.

I am in Jr. High.  My mom keeps complaining that she is tired of driving me everywhere.  I told her not to, but my mom called another girl in my dance class to see if we could share rides.  The mom said yes, but then she called right back and said we were mistaken, that we aren't in the same class.  I am so humiliated.  I know the other girl thinks she is better than us because she belongs to the Country Club and we don't, and because their car is brand-new and ours is old and clunky.  How do I face her in class?

-- I know this must really hurt your feelings, but hold your head up high.  If she says anything, or whispers and giggles to the other girls, just look her straight in the eye and say "Some day, when you want to run for class president, you won't win.  Because you need to be nice to EVERYONE, ALL of the time."

On the weekends I baby sit for my 4-year-old nephew.  I take the bus across town, and when I get there my brother & his wife have already left for work, and my nephew is playing with his toys and watching TV all by himself.  I told my mom, and she yelled at my brother, but he does it anyway.  I don't think this is safe.

-- You are right.  It isn't safe.  See if your parents can drive you there before they leave for work.  If that doesn't help, you should call the police the next time he does it.  Just think about how awful you would feel if the house caught on fire and your poor little nephew died!

I have this friend that I love to hang out with, but whenever she comes over, she brings her retarded older sister with her, even for sleepovers.  I have asked her if can't she come by herself sometimes, and she said her parents told her she has to bring her sister everywhere so she won't feel left out.

-- I know this should be a lesson in tolerance, and you should think about how you would feel if you were the sister and didn't get invited along.  But I also disagree with the parents.  I think you friend should get to spend time without her sister at least part of the time.  However, the final decision is up to her parents.

I really like this boy named André. he has a girlfriend, but we are just talking on the side, going steady I guess. but I haven't talked to him in about 6 days. I sent him an email, trying to see if he still was going steady with me, but he never responded. should I send him another email? or talk to him in person. the reason I wrote him that email is because, he is really lazy when it comes to relationships. one day I saw him at the park, and I didn't speak to him at all, he didn't speak to me either, we haven't talked to  me since. whenever I call, I always miss him.  Help!!!!!

-- I think you should find a boyfriend who doesn't already have a girlfriend.  Do you really want a lazy boyfriend who cheats on you?  Don't fall in love with a boy just because he is cute, choose the boy who treats you the best.  Andre is not the one.

I am a teen in high school.  Whenever a group of us goes out for pizza, drinks, etc., one girl takes our money and pays the bill.  A few of us figured out that she is over charging us and keeping the change.  I do not have the nerve to confront her.  What should we do?

-- If you don't have the nerve to confront her, then find someone else to take the money and pay the bill.  Be casual, and just say you are taking turns.  Do you know why she is doing this?  Is she poor?  Did she lose her job?  Does she have a drinking problem?

I ran away from home for a couple weeks.  Now that I am back, the pastor, my parents friends, and relatives are all treating me like some kind of juvenile delinquent.  Why do they assume I did something wrong?  Why isn't someone asking what was so unbearable at home that I had to leave?  The one relative that did ask, told me she didn't believe me.  Why aren't the relatives offering for me to stay with them if it is so bad here?  Where is the compassion?

-- I don't know.  I feel so bad for you.  We have taken in friends and relatives on several occasions and would gladly do it again.  Can you talk to a school counselor?  A friend's parents?

The pools will be opening soon, and I love to swim.  But I am a 14-year-old guy who is little overweight and I have "man breasts".  Last year the kids at the pool made fun of me and kept saying "got milk".  What can I do?

-- Buy a tank shirt and wear it over your swim suit.  Do 50 pushups and sit-ups every morning and every evening.

My prom is next Friday, and I can't find a silver lame' purse.  Where would be a good place to look?  I've already tried all the stores at the mall.

www.ebay.com  I just did a quick search, and came up with over 24 silver evening purses for under $20, including shipping.  Have fun at your dance!

I have a dad who is angry all the time, this is no exaggeration. Every morning I hear "What's that on your face?" (A zit, what do you think?)  "Is that what you are going to wear?"  And then to my mom he says "Do you think you should be eating that?"  "That dress makes you look like a sack of potatoes".  "I'm not buying you any more clothes until you lose 10 lbs."  "You better watch it, a fat wife is grounds for divorce."  His day isn't over until he makes someone cry, either me, or my mom.  I don't know why she puts up with this.  I am worried for my mom, she looks so depressed.  She sits and stares off into space and I can't even get her attention.  She can't even call her parents on the phone without him listening in on the other phone.   I want to run away but I don't want to leave my mom alone with him.  No one will believe me if I tell them how terrible he is to us.  Help!

-- You dad is verbally and emotionally abusive.  No one should have to live like this.  You need to get your mother and yourself out of there now!  Do you have any relatives that live close by?  Can you call your grandparents when you father isn't home?  Try tape recording his tirades with a cell phone, an answering machine, a tape recorder, or a Dictaphone.  Sit down and explain all this to your school counselor, pastor, grandparents until someone listens.  Your mental health depends on it.

I am 12 and growing a chest.  My parents say I am too young to wear a bra.  I am embarrassed to look so floppy without one, especially in gym class.

-- Have a talk with your gym teacher or your school counselor.  They should be able to explain to your parents that it is necessary for you to wear a bra to school, especially for gym class.

I am 13 and I want to start wearing makeup, but I don't know how.  I don't have an older sister, and my mom doesn't wear makeup.  What do I do?

-- At your age, you want to start with very light makeup.  Mascara, blush, lip gloss, compressed powder instead of foundation.  No liquid eyeliner, you don't want to look like Britney Spears or the Olson twins.  Is there someone at school who wears makeup well?  How about a friend's mom?  There should be some teen magazines with instructions.

I am 11 years old and I just sprouted a chest overnight.  A HUGE chest.  I went from no bra to a C cup in just a couple months.  I am so self-conscious, I feel like everyone is staring at me.  I am soooo not ready for this.  And to make it worse, the other kids are making fun of me and saying I stuff my bra.

-- Try wearing a sports bra, it should flatten you out a bit.  Then wear over-sized shirts and t-shirts until you get used to your chest.  If the other girls make fun of you, you could tell them it is bad luck and they could jinx themselves and not get a chest at all!  If the harassment is really bad, complain to the teacher or school counselor.

I am 10 and my mom says I can't start wearing a bikini until I am older?  Why?  How much older?

-- A bikini is appropriate when you have a chest to fill it out.  Until then, it just looks silly.

What is a good age to let your daughter get her ears pierced?

-- When she is old enough to take care of her ears all by herself.  When she is old enough to get them pierced without crying.  I would suggest age 10 or 12.

I Was Told copyright 2006